So last week I went to a pumpkin patch and got a bunch of medium size pumpkins for my students to paint or carve, whichever they liked. I had them on my porch because that’s where I’ve always put them. Well, I came home today from running errands and one of the pumpkins had a big bite mark on the top of it. So now I have to go back sometime this week, when I actually have time to go, and get another pumpkin because a damn squirrel decided he wanted to eat my pumpkin! The little bastard. That’s never happened to be in my entire life before. When I was a kid we used to leave the pumpkins outside forever and nothing ever happen to them.

Well anyways, other than that things are pretty good. Went shopping with my sweetie yesterday. Sweetest’s day, who needs it anyways. I don’t even think we said happy sweetest’s day to each other yesterday. It’s just another day anyways. We went to Woodfield Mall. I love that place I would live there if I could :). I bought my mom some things for her birthday. I got myself some new bras and a couple of candles. Then we went to dinner at Red Robin. Mmmm I love that place, best hamburgers ever :). Afterwards we came home and watched a couple movies and fell asleep. It was a pretty good day yesterday. I’m so happy things are better now. I missed being happy. The only thing is, I’m so worn out from working all day, being with her all night and trying to keep up with my ‘internet job’ lol. But it’s all good. I’m adjusting. I’m getting much less sleep now and it’s working out ok, thankfully.

I’ve been really into photography lately. I use my dslr all the time. I’m always toying around with the photos in Photoshop CS2 (still wanting CS3). I’m getting pretty good if I do say so myself. UGH last week I fucked up my monitor colors. I was all pissed off because the colors were horrid. So I tried to get it back to what I remembered it looking like and I finally did. Then today I printed a picture out and it was a little off from the color of my monitor so I had to readjust the monitor. Stupid Ang goes into the menu and RESETS the whole thing. Lol it was horrible. It took me a bit to get it where I want/need it. And now it matches the colors in the photo I printed, so that’s good.

I’m beat right now tho so I’m off to bed.

PS. I can’t STAND that Soulja Boy song. I want to kill the radio every time it’s on. UGH

Wow I didn’t realize it had been such a long time since my last entry. Lots going on since then. First of all I’m sick once again. This is the third day I’ve had to call in for a sub already this year. I don’t know what my problem is, I can’t seem to shake the bug that I have. But whatever I’ve been in bed all morning drinking tea and I’m starting to feel a bit better. I guess that’s the price you have to pay for hanging out with kids all day.

School is going well. My kids for the most part are sweethearts, two of the boys though keep talking about boobs during class lol boys will be boys I suppose. I have some fun activities planned for everyone for Halloween. I’m having them make haunted houses and jack’o lanterns from construction paper and I’ll be hanging them around the room for the Halloween party. Before the party there is a costume parade type thing where the kids all walk around the school, through the classrooms, to show off their costumes. I probably mentioned that before, but I think that’s my favorite part. I love to see what they come up with for their costumes. After the parade is over they come back to class and there’s lots of games, some candy and food. I’m still thinking about more games they can play but one of them is definitely a mummy rap with toilet paper lol. The first team to wrap someone completely like a mummy gets a prize, which I still haven’t decided on yet, I have to go shopping still. There will probably be “guess what it is” games too where they reach into a box and try to guess what whatever is in the box is. A halloween theme of course (eyeballs brains rat etc).

Things on the love front are actually getting better. We had a huge fight and since then things seemed to have died down a bit.  I told her we need to get back to how we used to be and she told me she didn’t think we could get back there, but we had to move on. But IMO I feel like we’re getting there, she said the other day she thinks we can too, so that made me happy. It’s just the little things that I need. I know I need her attention all the time. But I think that’s partly because I’m afraid of her straying again. I’ve been trying really hard with the whole jealousy thing. I still get hella jealous but I just try not to say anything about it. Or I’ll bitch to someone about it instead of yelling at her. I have MAJOR trust issues not just with her but with everyone. I don’t trust anyone outside of my family. It seems like whenever I have opened myself up to trusting someone I’ve always gotten hurt so I just close myself up.

I told her the other day I feel like I love her too much. Not for me, but for her. I feel like I’m smothering her but I think it’s because I want her to really see that I want this. I don’t honestly know what I’d do without her. For a while I know I was mad and I wanted to walk away but I’m so glad that I didn’t. I can honestly say that she’s it for me, there’s nothing else I need more in my life than I need her.

Anyways. Yesterday after work I decorated the house for Halloween. Maybe I’ll take a couple pix and post them but I dunno yet. It’s sort of plain, next year I decided I’m gonna buy different things to put in the front yard. It was so nice to decorate yesterday tho. It was fall weather (cold and cloudy) I loved it! I think that might be why I’m sick again today tho :(. As much as I love Halloween I can’t wait to decorate for Christmas. I LOVE Christmas. I love everything about it. The cold weather, snow (if we’re lucky) the smell of the cold crisp air, the smells in the houses (cooking, baking, warmth) the lights/decorations, the music. Everything. When Christmas comes around I’m like a little kid again. I find myself constantly smiling, so much so that my cheeks hurt lol.

Well I’m gonna get back in bed now and try to kick whatever the hell is wrong with me.